What hurts the most
by NeoCortex
Summary: Dean misses Sammy. Sammy misses Dean. What happens when they are back together? Rated M for language, WINCEST, male nudity, and erotica. INCEST of the Sam and Dean persuasion. If you don't like it, then don't read it. I didn't write it for you so 'Mleh'


**_This was written for my sister. She asked me if I would write her a Sam and Dean fan fic so I agreed. After a bit of debating what it would be I found that I had several Rascal Flatts songs stuck in my head and decided on a song fic for her._**

**_INCEST of the Sam and Dean persuasion. If you don't like it, then don't read it. I didn't write it for you so 'Mleh!'_**

**_Summary:: Dean misses Sammy. Sammy misses Dean. What happens when they are back together?_**

**_Word Count:: 3,473 (my longest one yet. You should feel loved Little Sister.)_**

**_Rated M for language, WINCEST, male nudity, and erotica._**

**_Disclamer:: Sam and Dean are the property of Eric Kripke and The CW. 'What Hurts the Most' is property of Rascall Flatts. I do not own any of the following save for the commentary and my imagination. I am merely borrowing them for my own twisted pleasure...And my sister's. Not to mention those of you that enjoy reading these kinds of things._**

* * *

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let em out_

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though_

_Goin' on with you gone still upsets me_

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay_

_But that's not what gets me_

It was pouring outside. He stood at the window of the current motel he was in. Usually on nights like this he would be talking up Sammy. Getting his opinion on the current job. Asking what he's found. See if he's got a lead or something. Maybe Bobby's called and can tell 'em what they're up against. But no. Not this time. Tonight, he's on his own. Sam split. He was alone now. Again. His fingers curled around the bell of his beer bottle as he lifted the vassel to his lips and sucked down some of the shit water. The Impala was parked not five feet from the door but it looked like a blob from where Dean was standing. It was raining that hard. As he stood there he remembered all the arguments over music from the day Sam came back to the day Sam left. And he knew that those moments he couldn't get back now. Sam had left. After the Supernatural convention. A frown creased Dean's brow and formed over his lips as he let himself remember. He had just let the younger walk away. How could he do that? He needed Sam. Needed to protect Sam. The frown on Dean's lips came deeper as he finished off his beer. Placing the bottle aside he glared out the window more. Today had been bad. As he worked a job with Castiel he realized the Cas may be a good guy, but he was just not gonna hack it. The man didn't even pay attention to the way he held his badges. He was gonna get them caught one of these days. At least with Sam it was easy. A little bit of natural in their supernatural world. With a sigh Dean walked over to his bed and slunk down on the edge. Burying his face in his hands he let the levy break. Tears welled up and spilled over. Dean hated this. Hated admiting, even to himself in the dark that he was lost without his Sammy.

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And havin' so much to say_

_And watchin' you walk away_

_And never knowin'_

_What could've been_

_And not seein' that lovin' you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do_

_

* * *

_

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doin' it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken_

Sam was sitting in the living room of Bobby's place. He had slept on the couch for the last couple of days. He couldn't bring himself to go to the room he and Dean had usually shared while here. Bobby walked in and asked if he was alright. A smile and a nod followed by a 'Yeah, I'm fine' was all Sam could manage. Boddy gave a nod and a wave good night as he made his way to his own room. That morning had been hell. He had woken up on Bobby's couch and wanted to just roll over and crawl into the cushions. He didn't want to get up. Didn't want to get dressed. At the moment he wanted to call Dean and beg his forgiveness. For all of it. The seals. Letting Lucifer loose. Leaving for Stanford. Leaving now. He wanted to call Dean and tell him all that he should have told him before. He needed Dean so much right now. He was lost without his big brother. They were Sam and Dean. You didn't get one without the other. Sam wasn't Sam without his Dean.

_What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And havin' so much to say_

_(Much to say)_

_And watchin' you walk away_

_And never knowin'_

_What could've been_

_And not seein' that lovin' you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do, oh_

_Oh yeah_

_

* * *

_

_What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And havin' so much to say_

_(To say)_

Dean looked down at his phone and sighed. He had to call. There was just no way he could go much longer without hearing at least his brother's voice. Hitting the the 'Sammy' speed dial he lifted the phone to his ear. After several rings he got Sam's voice mail. He had changed it recently. _**'Hey, this is Sam. I'm not in right now, leave your coordinates.'**_ Dean's throat constricted a bit as he listened to his baby boy's voice. When the beep sounded he nearly hung up. Instead he paused a moment before he spoke, "Sam." His voice was rough. Rougher than usual. "Look, I'm sorry if I drove you away. I'm sorry we never talk anymore. And I'm sorry that when we do I end up yelling and we end up fighting. Please Sammy. Please come back. I need you. I-" The message tone beeped and told him that his time had expired, "-love you." He whimpered a bit and closed his phone as the message sent and hung up on him. He then prayed like hell that Sam called him back at the very least.

_And watchin' you walk away_

_And never knowin'_

_What could've been_

_And not seein' that lovin' you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do_

_**"...Sammy. Please Come back. I need you. I-"**_ But what Dean was Sam never knew for that's where the message ended. "You what Dean?" He frowned down at his phone as he hung up. He had been hoping that Dean would say what he wanted to hear. But that just wasn't Dean's style. But what ever it was, Sam would take it. He dialed Dean's number with practiced ease. When he got Dean's voicemail he sighed and bit his lip, _**"This is Dean, leave your coordinates."**_ A beep and he started, "De, its me, I miss you. I want to appologize for everything. Breaking the seals, setting Lucifer loose. Not telling you I loved you. For walking away. For always pestering you to talk about shit you don't want to. For all of it. I'm sorry Dean. Call me back." He hung up and exhaled sharply. He wondered if Dean would catch it all as he had said it so quickly. Well, knowing Dean, he would. Big Brother never missed anything.

Dean in fact didn't miss it. He even played it back just to hear it again. As Sam's voice formed the words, **'**_**Not telling you that I loved you.'**_ He found himself wishing that he could pause the message and rewind it just to hear it again. Sam loved him. Biting his bottom lip he felt a smile spread across his mouth. As the message finished he hung up and quickly called Sam back. When the ring stopped after two and he could hear someone breathing on the other end he spoke, "Sam?" His voice was just as rough as before but with a bit more hope imbedded in it, "Sam its Dean." He heard an exhale and then, "De," His baby brother breathed. "Sorry Baby Boy, I was on a job when you called and was having my ass kicked." He let a bit of laughter infuse with his words and heard Sam chuckle a bit on his end. "Sammy, I...I need you man." He frowned at his own vulnerability. "I'm lost without you." The elder male swallowed the lump in his throat and continued on, "I mean, we're Sam and Dean. You can't have one without the other. Its just..." He floundered for a good word unable to find one, "Wrong?" Sam supplied and Dean nodded, quickly remembering that Sam couldn't see him. "Yeah. Wrong." He sighed out and bit his bottom lip, "Sammy, please, come back?" He nearly whimpered and his heart wrenched as he heard Sam do likewise. After a moment his little brother spoke, "I'm at Bobby's. You can pick me up or I can meet you somewhere if you like?" Dean didn't answer he just dropped the car out of park and into drive as he pulled back onto the highway.

Sam could hear the tires of The Impala squeal and he knew Dean was heading to him. "I guess I'll see you-"

"In about an hour." Was Dean's reply. "I'll see you soon then Big Brother." Sam bit his bottom lip to keep the giggle from escaping as Dean hung up on him. Sam slid his phone into his pocket and walked into the kitchen where Bobby currently resided. "Dean's comin to pick me up." Bobby chuckled and looked up from his book, "'Bout damned time, tired a you mopin around my house all tha time." was his good natured reply. Sam gave a slight shy smile and walked back to the couch near which his bag was located. He stuffed all of his things back into it and zipped it up once sure that all his belongings were returned to the confines of polyester and metal. Standing upright he began to pace across the area in front of the couch. After ten minutes of wearing a hole in the carpet he sighed and dropped to the piece of furniture. What the hell was he so nervous about? It was just his brother for Chrissakes! Okay, not _just_ his brother. It was Dean. The one person in the world he wanted and loved and hadn't known it until he found himself gone. The taller Winchester rested his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands with a heavy sigh. The male remained like this for another ten minutes. He just couldn't sit the fuck still! He was too damned nervous about seeing Dean again! Pushing himself off the couch he walked to the door and stepped outside. Perhaps a bit of fresh air would help?

Okay, so the air was more wet than it was fresh. It was raining. Just lovely. Oh well. Didn't stop him from standing on the front porch. Leaning against the banister with an upturned face he let his hazel eyes fall closed and just let the rain fall around him. And he wouldn't know how long he stood there as the next thing he heard would be Dean's voice calling him out of his rainy revere.

That was how Dean found him. Face turned skyward, eyes closed. He looked so innocent standing there with the rain falling all around him. Cutting the engine as soon as he pulled up he snapped the car into park and darted out of his baby. "Sammy!" He called out. His brother's eyes flew open and his face turned in his direction. A strangled, "Dean!" seemed to rip from his brother's throat as the younger bounded down the steps and over to Dean. Where Sam stopped a few feet from the elder Dean couldn't help himself as he launched himself at his baby brother. He found himself in Sam's arms clinging to the taller for dear life. He could feel Sam's lips turn into a smile against his neck as he took an inhale of the other. "Sammy..." He whispered into Sam's neck, "I'm so sorry Sammy." He felt Sam shake his head and nearly choked out a sob when he pulled back a little, "No Dean, I should appologize." Sam looked into bright green eyes, "You always say no chik flick moments and I push and push and I don't seem to know when to stop so you get mad. And I-" Dean didn't seen any alternative. He had to stop the babbling so he silenced the other the only was he could think of. With a hard kiss. One hand fisted in Sam's now soaked hair and the other at the collar of Sam's shirt had been enough to yank the taller back against him while his lips crushed Sam's.

Sam's eyes went wide as he found his lips being devoured by Dean's. After the initial shock he started to relax and respond. His hazel eyes drifted closed and his fingers curled around Dean's rain drenched hips as his lips parted beneath his brother's. At that he let out a deep moan for the shorter male had snaked his tongue out to slip teasingly over Sam's. Dean did this several more times before Sam reponded in kind and let his own dart out to begin a tango with his older brother's.

As the two faught for dominance there, Dean began to drag Sam to the Impala. When he felt the wet car hit his back he took one hand from Sam and opened the back door only to find himself laying flat out on the back seat moments later with a very tall, very wet Samuel F. Winchester on top of him. The kiss was broken momentarily as Sam closed the door to keep the rain out. Once done there he removed his shirt and was back to kissing Dean in a span of several seconds. Seeing Sam's bare torso had Dean's mouth watering like crazy and he wondered Sam didn't notice as his mouth was currently fused to Dean's. Dean lifted both hands to Sam's hips and started to slide them up slowly. As he did he began to memorize the feel. Every dip, scratch(he realized he could tell you where each one had come from), and scar(those too) on the way up. His fingers floated over Sam's stomach and belly button and he felt the muscles there jump slightly and he grinned against Sam's lips. Moving one hand upward still he used the other to play over his lover's stomach finding he liked the reaction he was getting. After a few moments of this he let his hand follow its mate up and both sets of fingers found already hard nipples awaiting his touch. Sam had, by now, pulled his lips away from Dean's and began to nuzzle at the older's jaw line, neck, and ear pulling soft moans from the shorter as his hands roamed freely. As those- made for fighting fingers found hard nipples Sam's breath huffed out across Dean's jaw and neck earning another grin from Dean.

Dean's fingers were like feathers on his skin! He nearly gasped when Dean took his nipples between his fingers and started to roll and twist them to hardened pebbles. God on high it was amazing! Sam found himself wondering what else those fingers were skilled at as he resumed his nuzzling, punctuated now by occasional licks, nips, and kisses in various places. And each ministration would ellicate a moan from Dean making Sam's arousal that much more.

Finally it seemed Sam had gotten bored with being the only half naked Winchester in the car for he sat up and all but ripped Dean's shirts off. Overshirt, followed very quickly by the undershirt. Seconds later Dean found himself gasping out as Sam's lips closed over one of his own hardened nipples. "Jesus Sammy!" Dean panted out as his fingers tangled in his brother's hair. The elder soon found that Sam had a very talented mouth as he did things to his nipple with his tongue that Dean had never felt from any girl he had ever banged. Not even the kinky ones! "Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuck!" He gasped when Sam's hand came up and began to tease, tweak, and tug at his neglected nipple, all the while tonguing, nipping, sucking, and kissing at the other. "Ooohhh fucking hell Sammy..." He moaned out. He could feel the heat in the car rise and if he opened his eyes he would see fogged out windows. But Dean J. Winchester was interested in one thing and one thing only right this minute. Sam's mouth on his skin.

Dean's skin was like ambrosia to Sam. Like the nectar of the gods and he was some mortal being granted the chance to taste of the forbidden drink. It was like an apple of the Tree of Life had been thrust into his mouth and he only now understood all that he had been unable to understand. Dean was like that to Sam. And now that he had that illegal substance, he was never going to let it go. Dean was his drug and he was hooked for life. Or at least for what was left of it.

Sam had moved from one nipple to the other and Dean had repeated his mantra of 'Sammy' and 'Fuck', with an occasional 'Hell' thrown in for good measure. Sam's mouth was fucking amazing! And Dean felt that if he died right now, he would be happy...Sort of. He kind of wanted to get a good release first, but still. He would die happy. He let out a slight whimper as cool air brushed over his now bare nipples but that whimper was replaced by a loud groan as Sam's mouth started to move lower. "Oh Jesus Sam, what are you- Ooooohhhh..." Dean arched his back slightly as Sam's lips tongue and teeth scraped over his skin on the way down his torso. Another sound was torn from his throat as his brother's tongue swirled and dipped into his belly button before continuing his down ward travels.

Dean barely registered his belt coming undone or his jeans being pulled down with his boxers to his ankels as Sam knealt in the foot well between his thighs. What he did register though was the tongue laving at the skin below his belly button while some seemingly skilled fingers wrapped themselves around his already cement hard rod. Dean gasped and panted out as Sam worked his engorged erection. "Fuck! Sammy! Yes that feels so good! Sammy..." He bucked his hips, fucking into the tight circle of Sam's fingers as his hand worked in a _pull-squeeze-twist_ motion and his tongue lapped more at his belly button and below. "Oh God yes Sammy! Jesus H Fucking Christ! Please Sammy..." He panted out. "I want- Ngghh!" Sam chuckled and Dean could hear the throaty sound as it sent blood rushing even more to his dick and balls. His brother's low voice reached his ears then, "Tell me what you want De." And the older brother bucked his hips and gasped, "Wanna feel your mouth around me..." And Dean was rewarded by just that. Sam's lips curled around his thick member making him cry out in extacy. "Yes Sammy! Yes!" Dean's hips arched up off the back seat of the Impala and Sam's head followed so as not to choke on Big Brother's dick. Dean moaned, panted, gasped, whimpered, mewled, and groaned. Any noise you can think of, Dean did it as Sam's apparently talented mouth went to work on his too long neglected phallus. After several minutes of Sam's tongue swirling, teeth scraping, mouth sucking, cheeks hollowing out, and his fingers cupping, stroking, and squeezing Dean's balls, the elder Winchester managed a "Sammy, I'm gonna come!" and did just that when his little brother began to suck more in earnest. His cock exploded between Sam's lips and Dean watched in absolute and utter astonishment as Sam remained where he was and took all that Dean's cock offered and swallowed it down. Right then, Dean decided, that had to be the single most hottest thing he had ever been privy to see.

When Dean had declared that he was gonna come and Sam had sucked his brother harder, the younger Winchester's body had been telling him he was gonna as well. And so when Dean's dick expelled his seed in Sam's mouth his balls had constricted, his gut had clenched, his spine had tingled and his own cock had let loose a torrent of jism in his boxer briefs while he swallowed his brother's life's essance.

* * *

_Not seein' that lovin' you_

_That's what I was trying to do, ooo_

Later that night as the two lay in the shared bed in Bobby's spare room- the same room Sam had been avoiding while alone here- coming down off the high of pleasure and basking in the feeling of post orgasmic bliss- yet again- Sam whispered against Dean's neck, "I love you Dean." and was made eternally happy by the replied, "I love you too Sammy." against his forehead as the two fell contently into sweet slumber.

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_**A/N If you read and like, please please please! let me know. I love feed back and enjoy reviews. If you would like to see me write a fic to a song then please let me know what song and I will see what I can do. I am not afraid of a challenge. To my sister, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think Chika.**_


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